“Mine was a happy family – an extremely romantic and loving husband and two adorable kids – a daughter and a son,” says 40-year-old Kiran (name changed) who works as Procurement Head in the Infra industry. “This is what the world saw in photos, on social media, and during outings. What no one knew was that my husband had Bipolar Disorder and Schizophrenia. He had been admitted to the psychiatric ward twice when he was at the peak of his career. I was working hard to make ends meet as bipolar disorder had made my husband go on an excessive spending spree which had thrown the family finances into jeopardy. But nowhere, in this whole melee was the love lost. One night we all celebrated my birthday. We went to bed past midnight, but the next morning only I got up. He slept forever.”

Kiran calls herself a ‘suicide leftover’. Her husband died in 2019. Her in-laws blamed her for their son’s death. Rage and guilt engulfed her. “I was consumed by guilt, anger and embarrassment,” recalls Kiran. “I couldn’t remember things. I was directionless. From an overachiever and a super organized multi-tasker, I began shirking work and responsibilities.”

Three years have since passed, but Kiran is still unable to extricate herself from guilt and shame.